[redacted]

i used to dream in the dark of palisades park

newBookmarkLockedFalling
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played by

Nano

mari, ouroboros
any
twenty six
june 25
lavender town, kanto
demisexual
nurse
ace
meet me on
the edge of oblivion
5'4" height
5'4" height
and i tried to save a life with these diamond hands of mine; but they're sharper than a knife
awards
495 posts
part of
TAG WITH @marisol
MARISOL SIMONE
[redacted]
POSTED ON Jun 25, 2022 2:30:19 GMT
MARISOL SIMONE Avatar
[googlefont=Six Caps][googlefont=Josefin Slab][googlefont=Dosis:200]
[attr="class","a1"]

repetition


[re·pə·ˈti·shən]
The act of repeating, in any sense; iteration of the same act, word, sound, or idea; BURDEN
𝓐𝓭𝓲𝓻𝓪 ლ


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[newclass=.a1 i]font-family:Dosis; color:#fff; font-size:19px; font-style:normal; box-shadow: 0px 0px 10px rgb(22 22 22 / 20%);[/newclass]
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played by

Nano

mari, ouroboros
any
twenty six
june 25
lavender town, kanto
demisexual
nurse
ace
meet me on
the edge of oblivion
5'4" height
5'4" height
and i tried to save a life with these diamond hands of mine; but they're sharper than a knife
awards
495 posts
part of
TAG WITH @marisol
MARISOL SIMONE
[redacted]
POSTED ON Jun 25, 2022 3:05:20 GMT
MARISOL SIMONE Avatar
[nospaces]

[attr="class","songfor"]
[attr="class","songforleft"]




[attr="class","songforleft1"]
[attr="class","songforleft21"][attr="class","ion-shuffle"][attr="class","songforleft2"][attr="class","ion-loop"][attr="class","songforleft2"][attr="class","ion-plus-circled"]


PHARAOH LEAP CREATES





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played by

Nano

mari, ouroboros
any
twenty six
june 25
lavender town, kanto
demisexual
nurse
ace
meet me on
the edge of oblivion
5'4" height
5'4" height
and i tried to save a life with these diamond hands of mine; but they're sharper than a knife
awards
495 posts
part of
TAG WITH @marisol
MARISOL SIMONE
[redacted]
POSTED ON Jun 25, 2022 19:22:40 GMT
MARISOL SIMONE Avatar
[nospaces]
[attr="class","lover"]
[attr="class","loverFlowers"]







i don't know what to do, i've had enough


of this lifeline




[attr="class","loverTag"]My Dearest WENDY

[attr="class","loverImg"]
[attr="class","loverText"]
❛❛




How are you doing? [break][break]

It's been a while, hasn't it? I hope you're doing alright in Hoenn. Me? Well, the hospital says that I'm still alive, haha. The cancer hasn't caught up to me, yet, and my treatment is going swimmingly. They say at this rate, it will go into recession, and I'll be able to return to my work. Isn't that great news, Wendy? [break][break]

You might find it odd, the fact that I'm writing this letter to you. Although I used to write letters a lot, I never would have imagined I'd be writing one to my own daughter! Haha, it feels so nostalgic, yet slightly embarrassing. Were you surprised? Well, you make it so difficult to reach you, that I thought that this might be my only avenue. You always ignore my texts and my calls, after all. Oh, but I don't mean to sound passive aggressive. I know how it makes your stomach sink and your heart break. I promise I'm not mad at you. [break][break]

But do you think you could visit your old man in Unova now and then? It gets deathly lonely, seeing that you're the only family left. The white walls of the hospital get boorish and the routine becomes so repetitive. Make sure you're eating well, and taking care of yourself, otherwise you'll be as frail as I am! Haha. [break][break]

... Wendy. I know you are upset at me. You probably hate me, or despise me, for what I've done. But I hope you know that this was all for you, mhm? It's all for your own good. I did everything out of love for you. I don't want to leave you alone in this world, confused and lost like your mother did. So please, could you stop being so stubborn and forgive me? [break][break]

I was only doing what was right for you, right for the both of us. You know I would never do anything to hurt you, no? What experiment has damaged you? What dissection did you not willingly take part in? I thought you enjoyed doing work and tasks with your father when you were little. It's regretful that your mother took you away from me before I could completely teach you everything. [break][break]

But know that I did everything out of love, for you. Because, Wendy, I can't bear to watch you ḑ͇̋ẹ̴̙ͨ͆ͭ͢l͒͏̱̱̥u̢ͦ͂͏̗̫͓̤dͮ̄̾́͝҉҉̩̺e̵ͬ̌͆̚҉̴̥͚̩͞ ̢̱͚͇͑ͫ͢ỷ̵͓̮̣̣̏̀͠ó̷͕͔̣̙ͧͮͫu̙̮͚̜̅͟͢͝͡r̵̨̨̘̮̜̻̃s̨̥̒͊̈̀ě̝͇̞͖ͪ́͞͞l̴̡̆҉̘ͅf̴͍̂ into thinking you're a good person. You're a monster, just like me. I'm the only person who will understand you, and the only person who will stay by your side.[break][break]

I will be undergoing a surgery next month on XX. Please at least come to see me then. [break][break]

Love, [break]
f̵̨̨͎̲̩ͬͤ̾ä̷̵̫͎́̇̑́ͅẗ̡̛̠̤̖́̆ͯ͟h̸ͦ̽͗҉̶̲̺̟ę̴͈̪̯̒ͨ͊̕r̵̨͇̻̊͂͂͝ͅ






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played by

Nano

mari, ouroboros
any
twenty six
june 25
lavender town, kanto
demisexual
nurse
ace
meet me on
the edge of oblivion
5'4" height
5'4" height
and i tried to save a life with these diamond hands of mine; but they're sharper than a knife
awards
495 posts
part of
TAG WITH @marisol
MARISOL SIMONE
[redacted]
POSTED ON Jun 26, 2022 2:28:41 GMT
MARISOL SIMONE Avatar
[nospaces]
[attr="class","lover"]
[attr="class","loverFlowers"]







i don't know what to do, i've had enough


of this lifeline




[attr="class","loverTag"]My Dearest WENDY

[attr="class","loverImg"]
[attr="class","loverText"]
❛❛



Happy birthday, honey. [break][break]

You didn't come to see me, that makes me sad. Since when did you stop caring about your father, hm, Wendy? Aha, I'm just pulling your leg. I understand that you're busy, and can't come to see me. Don't worry, Wendy. Your father isn't mad at you. You hadn't responded to the last letter, so I was only getting a bit worried.[break][break]

I got you a gift this year. Tada! Isn't that surprising? It took a lot of work, but a buddy of mine was able to pull something together soon enough. I'm sorry I can't be there. Make sure to open it before you go to bed tonight, alright? [break][break]

Hahah! You're only recently twenty, and yet here I am, still worrying and speaking to you as though you're a child. If you're a child, that would make your other classmates toddlers, no? My daughter is the smartest of them all, of course. Speaking of which, have you been eating regularly? Attending classes regularly? You shouldn't try to worry me while I'm confined to this bed, I hope you know! I may be older, but these frail bones won't stop me from booking a flight back to Hoenn to watch over you and your horrible habits~.[break][break]

.. Oh, speaking of which, isn't it your mother's death anniversary soon? I'll see about leaving the hospital to go see her. After all, I'm sure your mother is lonely in her grave. I'd love to show her what a beautiful woman you've become. We could sing the lullaby she used to hum all the time, to calm your nerves and help you sleep. She was always so gentle. Ah.. I dearly miss her.[break][break]

Make sure that you're eating well, okay, Wendy? I worry for you. I'll be writing again soon. I love you.


[break][break]
Love, [break]
f̵̨̨͎̲̩ͬͤ̾ä̷̵̫͎́̇̑́ͅẗ̡̛̠̤̖́̆ͯ͟h̸ͦ̽͗҉̶̲̺̟ę̴͈̪̯̒ͨ͊̕r̵̨͇̻̊͂͂͝ͅ

[break][break](attached to the letter is a small box, and opening it up reveals a music box that plays a familiar song)
[break][break]
[player]https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/990439700424699926/990439746205536316/FFXIV_ENDWALKER_Close_In_The_Distance_Ultima_Thule_Theme_Cover.mp3[/player]





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played by

Nano

mari, ouroboros
any
twenty six
june 25
lavender town, kanto
demisexual
nurse
ace
meet me on
the edge of oblivion
5'4" height
5'4" height
and i tried to save a life with these diamond hands of mine; but they're sharper than a knife
awards
495 posts
part of
TAG WITH @marisol
MARISOL SIMONE
[redacted]
POSTED ON Jun 26, 2022 2:50:00 GMT
MARISOL SIMONE Avatar
[googlefont=Six Caps][googlefont=Josefin Slab][googlefont=Dosis:200]
[attr="class","a1"]

nostalgia


[nŏ·stăl·′jə]
a wistful or excessively sentimental yearning for return to or of some past period or irrecoverable condition; HOMESICKNESS
𝓐𝓭𝓲𝓻𝓪 ლ


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[newclass=.a1 h1]line-height:65px; font-family:Six Caps; font-size:70px; color:#ffffff; letter-spacing:10px; text-transform:uppercase;[/newclass]
[newclass=.a1 i]font-family:Dosis; color:#fff; font-size:19px; font-style:normal; box-shadow: 0px 0px 10px rgb(22 22 22 / 20%);[/newclass]
close tab

played by

Nano

mari, ouroboros
any
twenty six
june 25
lavender town, kanto
demisexual
nurse
ace
meet me on
the edge of oblivion
5'4" height
5'4" height
and i tried to save a life with these diamond hands of mine; but they're sharper than a knife
awards
495 posts
part of
TAG WITH @marisol
MARISOL SIMONE
[redacted]
POSTED ON Jun 28, 2022 19:42:28 GMT
MARISOL SIMONE Avatar
[nospaces]

[attr="class","pokenav"]

[attr="class","pokenavleft"]


[attr="class","pokenavborder"]
[attr="class","pokenavmid"]
[attr="class","pokenavcircle"]

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[attr="class","pokenavscreen1"]
[attr="class","pokenavscreen2"]



[attr="class","pokenavimg"]



[attr="class","pokenavname"]

welcome

[attr="class","pokenavname1"]

lucianus olson

[attr="class","pokenavimg1"]




[attr="class","pokenavmessage"]
[attr="class","pokenavmessage1"]




[attr="class","pnm"]

logging in...


[attr="class","pnm"]

welcome, LUCIANUS OLSON. you have 1 new message.


[attr="class","pnm"]

...


[attr="class","pnm"]

my dearest wendy,[break][break]

if you are seeing this, that means i have joined your mother. however knowing you, you are probably rejoicing in this loss. you're such a bad child, wendy, for celebrating the death of a man who has helped so many people. i hope you find it in your heart to forgive me, one day. [break][break]

regardless, this means that your life is your own now, no? it means that you are free from the shackles i've once bound you, and you're free to explore the world, just as your mother always wanted you to. if i recall, you said you wanted to be a doctor for both people and pokemon? i think that's a lovely prospect. selfless, kind, despite your occasional stutter and ramblings. to some degree, it's endearing.


[attr="class","pnm"]

but wendy, my dear, don't you ever forget. [break][break]

the smile and the laugh you wore were so vibrant, and i've never seen you so bright other than when you picked up a scalpel. you were the most brilliant diamond that not even blood could sully the shine of. my only regret is that i couldn't live long enough to fully polish you. although if i recall.. your little ghost pokemon can communicate with spirits, no? i imagine your mother must have warned them about me, otherwise they wouldn't be so wary. [break][break]

so you are free of me in life, but know that i will be watching over you, my sweet, sweet, fool of a daughter. [break][break]

remember that your father loves you. [break][break]

so much so, that i have compiled all of my research, and your mother's work, onto this computer. it is up to you, whether or not you want to take all of this research and finish it, yourself. what you decide to do with our knowledge and our findings is your choice. you can run away with it, you can leave them for the next person to find, you can destroy the knowledge and have it be forever lost in time.[break][break]

or you can take it, and embrace the monster i've made you to be.


[attr="class","pnm"]

the choice is yours, wendy. my sweet, sweet daughter. [break][break]

you were truly the best live experiment i've ever laid my hands on.


[attr="class","pnm"]

there are no unread messages.








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played by

Nano

mari, ouroboros
any
twenty six
june 25
lavender town, kanto
demisexual
nurse
ace
meet me on
the edge of oblivion
5'4" height
5'4" height
and i tried to save a life with these diamond hands of mine; but they're sharper than a knife
awards
495 posts
part of
TAG WITH @marisol
MARISOL SIMONE
[redacted]
POSTED ON Jul 29, 2022 5:24:16 GMT
MARISOL SIMONE Avatar
[nospaces]
[break]

SHE'S GONE BUT USED TO BE MINE

[break]

tw: child abuse

[break]


she's so small. [break][break]

a mewling child, a babe under your care. she's a little clumsy, but when she comes home from school with a smile on her face, it helps to brighten up your dull day after work. two years pass by so quickly with your precious daughter (who looks a bit too much like her father, but you'll ignore it for both your sakes). "mama!" she says with such a beam, holding a piece of paper to show, with all the pride in the world "uhm, uhm..!" her small feet jump into the air - she's seven this year, isn't she? and yet she still acts like a child. [break][break]

"yes, wendy?" you ask. you try to smile, but the weight tugs heavier each day. mother always told you to treat the child gently, treat her well. you've been with her for so long, you love her to death. you'll do anything for her. when she opens the sheet out to you, it's a crayon drawing of a little girl with her ashen hair, cut neatly, holding the hands of a brunette woman with her hair tied up in a high ponytail. "the teacher wanted us to draw our family, so--" her voice chirps up, so quick to climb onto the couch where you sit. [break][break]

"this is me! and--" her finger moves as she giggles "this is you! then! then!" her hand moves again, as does your gaze. "this is daddy!" her innocent voice sings, like she doesn't know what he's done (what she's done by extension, and you can feel yourself vomiting a little as you recall the scene). still, you smile to the little girl who's so proud of her drawing. your hand raises, and you gently caress the top of her head. "wow, it's such a pretty drawing, darling~" you're lying to her when you try to hide the disdain in your eyes. [break][break]

"but why did you include daddy?" the venom is starting to get harder to hide when you ask (she does this every time, you've reminded her not to include him). oh, and she looks so confused when she tilts her head up to you, when she gets so meek and tents her fingers together and when she avoids eye contact. she knows what she's done wrong, right? [break][break]

"because daddy is.. still my fam--" [break]
"no! he isn't!" [break][break]

you slam your hand against the couch's arm rest, again. she's jumping away from you, and your brows furrow. you've told her so many times to stop, to stop adding him to her drawings, to stop thinking about him. you tell her to stop asking for where dad is, stop asking where that monster is. but she doesn't listen, and you know you can't blame her. it's that beast's fault for corrupting your precious daughter, who's a little too smart for her age. it's his fault for dying the porcelain heart red. it's his fault. [break][break]

but what can you do when she looks so alike? your heart aches and your stomach twists, with the image of a man smiling so warmly to you once upon a time making the nausea spiral once again. your daughter's words are but background noise after you've boomed at her, and she's scared of you right now, isn't she? you can see it when she looks up at you with the dual-coloured eyes, but she looks so much like him that your hand raises. [break][break]

"what do you not understand?!" you shout, she jolts "he left you, wendy!" your hands grip her shoulders, nails digging into her soft skin. it's going to leave a mark. "he's a monster!" who has weaselled his way into your little girl's mind. no amount of therapy, nor medication will cleanse her of his dirty touch; he's done enough to her. [break][break]

"mommy.." [break][break]

the whimper snaps you out of it, and you glance down at your hands. her skin is beginning to bruise, your nails are digging in too hard. immediately, you let go. "o-oh, wendy.." you mutter, but what can you say? you know you've hurt your child (this isn't the first time this has happened; but you always hope that it's the last) and she has tears in her eyes as you pull your hands back. when things are clearer, and the visage of a cruel, ruthless man is gone, you lean over to pull your daughter into a warm embrace. a regretful embrace. [break][break]

"i'm sorry, wendy." you're so young, such a young mother. you don't know the next thing about childcare (your husband was the one who knew). "mommy got angry. she won't get angry again." you hush her as she trembles in your hold. your breath is shaky when you say such an obvious lie; it's a good thing she can't tell. you hold her, close. you aren't a good mother, but you're trying. you're trying. [break][break]

you have to protect your child from the monster, but sometimes you'll look at her as she smiles, and fear what monster she'll become.

[/span][/blockquote]
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